romance

One day on a spring break trip, I couldn't climb a tree and I was sad and the boys laughed and I cried a little. My friend planted a little romance by walking casually over and sticking a flower behind my ear. I have a picture of us, sprawled out in the grass - my eyes still teary but struck with wonder at the man who sat beside me.

Six months later, we were in a massive water fight and running all around and he splashed me and I splashed him and all of a sudden we were face to face and the kind of romance that you don't want to awaken was rushing through me, so I ignored it and laughed at my handsome friend.

Two months after that, he found my hand beneath a blanket
the night after that, across the armrest at the movies
we stayed quiet about it, but romance was spreading like a rash.

Then, all of a sudden, we were in a fight and like the friends in Song of Solomon - my girl friends were all staring at me in the middle of a grocery store, telling me I was stupid to not get it. Stupid not to go to his house this minute and apologize and find him, stupid to let another day pass pretending.

Our first valentines day, romance was making me homemade angel wings and bringing me a dozen roses to school. Our second valentines day, it was takeout in the dorm and a christian fish ring that turned my finger green. Our third, we babysat for my sister. Fourth, we babysat for both of her babies. Fifth, we were married and went to Chili's because I was starting a diet the next day and wanted to eat fries. Our son was two weeks old on our sixth valentines day and we were overwhelmed with love and warmth and exhaustion. I made him a mug & he got me one too. Coffee was important then. For our seventh, he swept me away to a northwestern sea bungalow where we loved and laughed and slept and talked about our baby girl, who we'd meet in a month.

It's better than homemade angel wings and fish rings, now. So much better. Now, I think flowers are a waste because they die but I think back rubs are amazing. Every few nights we light some candles and get dressed to get undressed and in the morning we usually slap each others butts before nine a.m. On a good day.

Romance for us is choosing, daily. I choose him through his stupid, stubborn thickheaded yet still sexy gracious christlike life and he chooses me through my lazy, bratty, whiny, rebellious hard trying self. But geez, I love that guy.